Tamara’s Post – Running-Mommy Guilt

Even though it’s going to be in the low 60s today – I knew my chances of running outside were slim – no worries Spring isn’t even here yet! At 6:45am I decided to hit the treadmill in my basement. I wasn’t horribly excited since I finished watching the Bachelor (my silly reality TV obssession) the other morning and didn’t have much left to watch on my DVR. I channel surfed before getting on the treadmill – mistake #2. Just before hitting Start – I see my 7 year old sitting up in bed (yup, still got a baby monitor on her). Mistake #1 was not running at 5am to be certain I got it in before she woke up! I ran upstairs – tried to persuade her to go back to bed and negotiated just enough to let her watch TV in my room. I have a camera to the monitor in there too (yup, overprotective I am!). Back on the treadmill I settle in to watch another favorite show “Revenge” (love the drama!). At mile 3, I see Samantha has disappeared from the monitor view – ugh – I hop off…and find her pushing her doll stroller in the living room. I tell her I’m “almost” done running (not really) and ask her to go back in my room so I can see her on the monitor. It’s so cute how she knows and doesn’t care that I’m watching her on the monitor (guess in a few years she will protest). Back on the treadmill – hmmm…please let me finish my run! At mile 5, I see a wild-haired girl waving into the camera and pointing at her mouth! It made me smile – but the guilty running-Mommy feelings come over me too. I run upstairs, grab her milk and a snack – she wants bacon. Huh? Can you wait? Sure, Mommy! We agree I will be back up soon. Back on the treadmill – the last mile almost finished – she disappears from view again. I quickly finish my 6 miles, thankful that she really does try to understand my need to run. I head upstairs and find her heading downstairs to demand her bacon! Sometimes (ok, alot of the time) I feel extremely guilty for taking the time to run – I should be doing something for my daughter – this is why I try to run alot when she is sleeping. I’m hoping as she gets older she may want to run some with me – will help eliminate the running-Mommy guilt that I also feel if I attend a race. I know I do it for me – I know that it makes me a better Mommy (and yes, I do believe that!) and as I cook my beautiful wild-haired daughter 4 strips of turkey bacon I settle back into Mommy reality for the day…

She makes me smile!

Comments

  1. I am not a mommy, yet, but I would imagine that making the decision to do something for yourself must be terribly difficult at times. I am proud that you found a way to compromise for both your needs and your daughter’s.

    • Thanks Amanda! Making sure my daughter is my #1 priority is challenging – and I’ve accomodated my running/racing schedule around her. It’s getting easier as she gets older – but I still miss races and runs because I need to be with her…and frankly, there’s no place I’d rather be! Being a Mom is wonderful and I know you will also find the balance when/if you join this Mommy rollercoaster club! :)

  2. Thank you for this post. I am lucky enough to have my husband around but I still find myself feeling guilty. My biggest thing is events, leaving before mine wake up. They are 1 and 3. On tuesdays and thursdays I run after they go to bed, which limits where I can go for safety reasons. On the flip side running has made me stronger, and my family stronger. A year ago my husband would never be able to handle my girls, hell he hadnt even changed a diaper. When I made some life changes, running included, that all changed. And now my daughter asks me how my run was, and loves going to the gym with me. But whenever I am running and I get a text my heart drops, thinking it’s my husband saying he needs me home. Sorry for the rambling. But thank you for this post!

    • Mary, Sounds like you have been able to find some balance – the challenge is keeping it. I really, really try to always make my daughter my priority – but it is hard to then remember that I need time for myself – it’s like a catch-22 all the time! I applaud you for keeping up with your running – you have 2 girls – I only have 1 and she is 7 years old now. I will have to say it does get easier…I promise! :) I love talking to other Mommy-runners, thanks for commenting – keep in touch and keep on running! -Tamara